Monday, March 23, 2009
Years ago when I was in school, my 11th grade teacher wanted us to keep a journal for the entire year. She didnt really care what we wrote about, and asked that we write in it daily. It was the first time I had ever kept a journal or diary.
I enjoyed writing in that journal, writing thoughts in it that I would tell no other. That journal became my best friend, it held all my fears, dreams, sadness, and happiness. it held my failures and it held my triumphs. From that day forward, i kept a journal through out the rest of my life.
I didnt write in it every day, sometimes months went by before i would write, but my journals have been a part of me since my 11th grade year. i have them packed in boxes, boxes stacked among eachother in my closet, and every once in awhile i will get them out and reflect back on times in my past.
Then, I started blogging. I had blogs all over the place, i decided I would finally consolidate them all into one. The only problem with blogging...i would pour my feelings out, deep dark secret feelings and thoughts and people from all over the world were reading them. I decided I would keep more of the personal stuff in my journals. :-)
I had two seperate blogs, one on mulitiply and one on blogger. The one on mulitiply i used quite often, the one on blogger about once a week. Suddenly I developed a stalker on mulitiply and I closed my account completely. I then started using blogger more often.
I found blogging was very therapuetic and i got to the point where i honestly didnt care how many people read my blogs.
I opened up a new blog here on blogger due to one reason...my automobile accident.
Im not the same person I was. Im more vocal on things, i tend to get more angry than i used to and sometimes the depression is more than i can handle.
On Jan.25th 2009 I was tboned by a drunk driver going about 60 mph.
I was crushed into the passenger side of my blazer and my blazer flipped twice.
My brother was in the passenger seat, and my two daughters were in the back seat.
One daughter walked away unharmed, while my other daughter suffered broken ribs, and bruised liver, kidney and so forth.
My brother suffered a broken arm and many brusises and scratches.
I on the other hand suffered greatly. I thank God I do not remember any of it.
I was flown by helicopter to the nearest trauma center where they informed my family there was a slim chance I would make it.
I had 3 broken ribs which punctured my lung and i had to have it surgically repaired, ruptured spleen which was removed, and brusised kidney and liver.
My back was broken in 4 places and my pelvis was broken in 3 places.
My head took a one hell of a hit to the roof of the blazer and I had a brain injury.
I was put in a medically induced coma for a few days till the swelling in my brain came down somewhat.
Once I fully emerged from the coma, I learned of the accident and the extent of my injuries.
With the brain injury, I had to learn a few things over again, writing and spelling which i thought would come so naturally, didnt come naturally anymore.
Anger and depression was the main source of the brain injury, and words I used to not say suddenly flew my mouth with such ease. My brain had to be trained again so to speak to be able to some of the things i had forgotten.
My main problem with my brain now is, its like I have ADD. My mind is always racing, im always thinking and sometimes my mind just goes into overdrive and i cant seem to make sense of things.
I have neurosychologist who works with me on alot of these things and as well as behavioral issues which has gotten much better. :-)
I have physical therapist now who helps me recover from my broken bones, and helps me make baby steps now and to help me do for myself. I can stand, but for not long periods, I can walk with the help of a walker or my crutches and i prefer the crutches over a walker, but walking is painful and wheni say baby steps I really mean, small baby steps.
It has almost been 2 months since the accident and i can already see improvement in myself.
It does get frustrating but i know if i dont push myself when i feel like doing nothing i wont get anywhere.
With the brain injury, I feel i am no longer the same person whom i used to be, so i stopped writing in my old blog, and decided to start a new one, I hope you will follow along with me on my journey to a full recovery!
As I type this, im in the hospital for one more day...I had to be admitted over the other night because i developed pnumonia! ugggg